Shamel Jaquez Mateo 

March 13, 2023 

Professor N

Professor Kratka 

The Unspoken + Differences = ?

Although one has the capability to have tacit support from another, does it mean that there is acceptance? In the 1963 short story “What Must I Say to You” by Norma Rosen, an employer and employee have a bonding relationship despite their differences in marital dynamics, religious differences and worker-employee dynamic . Jewish- Christian differences are talked about and critiqued, yet they, the two women in this story don’t necessarily have the same status.  Even though they have this unspoken acceptance, it goes beyond them. The unpredictability in their bonding opens up the floor for acceptance to go beyond them two. 

It is expected that you would owe respect to those who work for you but explanation? The employee talks and initiates to her husband that some sort of conversation about religion has already occurred between her and the employee.  “You don’t owe her an explanation.”My husband doesn’t know how close, on winter afternoons, a woman is drawn to another woman who works in her house. It would surprise him to hear that I have already mentioned to Mrs. Cooper certain intimate details of my life, and that she has revealed to me a heartache about her husband. “But I think I’lI tell her,” I say. “Not even a spray of balsam. I’d rather have her think of us Godless than heartless.”(Rosen, 206). Why care? That’s the question that many think when reading those lines. Like the husband says she doesn’t owe her an explanation. If the wife were to only think of Mrs. Cooper as merely an employee and someone who takes care of her daughter then surely she wouldn’t care. Except that here it is evident that not only does the wife care enough to explain why there isn’t a Christmas tree in her house, but that she shares private intimate details of her life, and Mrs. Cooper reciprocates by telling her about her situation with her husband. This quote from the short story truly embodies that, while yes Mrs.Cooper is supposed to solely be an employee, there’s much more to it . It summarizes what brought them together and that despite the relationship, there is more than basic respect. There’s cordiality. Contrary to what I’ve covered, this acceptance is not one sided. Mrs.Cooper mentions “we believe there is a god for everyone” [the employer thinks to herself] “though my husband has told me over and over again that this is what Jews say, Mrs.Cooper’s words move me as though I have never heard them before”. Instead of seeing the difference between them, as something to remain untouched and unspoken about, it is openly taken into consideration and not judged.  

When entering the topic between the two women and the bond they’ve built, it includes knowledge about each other such as what each other’s marital dynamic looks like. More specifically  about Mrs.Coopers husband. The wife (the narrator) seems to know exactly not only what Mrs.Cooper’s relationship with America seems to look like but also Mr.Cooper (Ronsen, 208). In that same page 208 the wife states “ There are two kinds of immigrants, I observe. One kind loves everything about America, is happy to throw off the ways of the old country, and thereafter looks back largely with contempt. The other kind dis-likes, compares, regrets, awakens to Welt and Ichschmerz and feels the new life mainly as a loss of the old, Often, the two marry each other.”.  The acknowledgement on behalf of the wife in regard to the difference in the relationship among her employee and the employee’s husband shows that she plays close attention and is able to summarize the type of relationship they have. Yet, it is again, accepted and acknowledged that there are differences and later in the short story she likes the encouragement that her employee has to fight off these differences (Rosen, 204). 

Not only did the two women not only share an understanding about their spouses , but respect each other’s religious differences. After summarizing the relationship not only that Mr & Mrs.Cooper share but also the narrator and her husband, the short story moves on to showing an interaction where there is understanding and mutual respect for both holidays celebrated by the women. The wife states “Christmas week comes, and we give Mrs.Cooper presents for her children. And since Christmas day falls on the last of her regular three days a week, we pay her for her holiday at the end of the second day. “Merry Christmas, Mrs. Cooper,” I say. “Have a happy holiday.” Suddenly she laughs and ducks her knees. Her fingers fly with unaccustomed haste to her cheek and she asks, “What must I say to you?” “You can wish me the same,” I say.’ “We have a holiday. My husband gets the day off, too.” (Rosen, 209). When speaking about the christian holiday, the wife is understanding when it takes place and works with it in regards to pay. It is important to note that while the employer has to pay the employee back in 1963 there was no moral obligation to work around holidays of those who work for you, this was not obligated until 1964 (“Religious Discrimination and Accommodation in the Federal Workplace | U.S. Department of Labor”).  Yet there was no hesitation with the wife. 

Employers and employees, even back in 1963 had the opportunity to create that bond despite not knowing each other anything and being completely different. We see that although explanation about the narrator and the employee’s religious difference isn’t obligatory, acceptance and support is given indirectly. We can also see and appreciate that the two women’s relationship goes beyond employment. Instead we know that there are intimate details known about each other’s marital differences and dynamic. Thus, to answer the question asked in the very beginning, based on this short story, yes. One can absolutely receive tacit support whilst receiving acceptance.

Work Cited 

Rosen , Norma. “What Must I Say To You?” Touching Evil , 1963. 

“Religious Discrimination and Accommodation in the Federal Workplace | U.S. Department of Labor.” Dol.gov, 2019, www.dol.gov/agencies/oasam/civil-rights-center/internal/policies/religious-discrimination-accommodation.